Túl vagyok az egyik legeslegnehezebb napomon. Megvolt a nagy beszélgetésem a manageremmel arról, hogy milyen taplón is tud viselkedni velem. Isten ments, hogy még egyszer át kelljen élnem az élménybeszámolóval a történteket, így azt hiszem engedélyt kérek Louietól, hogy közölhessem itt a neki írt levelemet ebben a témában. Nyugi, nem lesz Anyegin a blogomból, de most legalább egy kicsit gyakorolhat mindenki angolul.

It was very busy around 5 I was doing my job, when a member came. He has a balance from november onwards, he had to pay more than 100 Pounds. He asked me whether he could do it smaller amounts. I knew he couldn't but wanted to ask R. if there was anything we could do for him...to help him. She came out, and told me off in front of the person that we are no charity and I should have known what to say and shouldn't have called her. 

I was really offended, but tried not to show my feelings (or punch her in the face). Valmik came a few minutes after it happened and saw that there was something wrong with me. I told him I couldn't and didn't want to talk about it but he kept asking me. I was really on the edge of crying and that was the moment I couldn't hold it any longer. And I just COULDN'T STOP crying. It has never happened to me before. I think all those supressed feelings of sadness, anger, disappointment of the past 7 weeks burst out. I went quickly to the changing rooms and tried to get myself together. Then I went back and continued work. But I was fighting my tears all evening.  When I went on my break Valmik came and started nagging me again. He was pushing so hard that I started crying again. He is so silly, he thought I was crying because I made a mistake (which I didn't). I told him it wasn't because of him, I don't trust anyone but he was so pushy that I just poke that it is because of R. behaviour. And there I made the mistake again... I shouldn't have told him...

But then R. came in, and was really angry that Valmik wasn't at his place. Then she saw I was crying and sent Valmik out. She asked me what my problem was. I told her I was stressed and that I was sorry but I couldn't help crying. She asked whether it had to do anything with her. And as I have already told Valmik, I told her that it had...might be the second mistake I made. But I did not want to lie. So I told her, that all I can see is that she is not satisfied with me and I can't tolerte the way she speaks to me. That I like being there but I can't if we cannot get on well. She said she had no problems with me and I do really well. She was frightened. She didn't expect that from me. She told me that she was my manager, and if I make a mistake, she had to tell me off. She didn't get AT ALL what I was talking about. Who the f.ck cares about mistakes? She said she will try to spend more time with me (hell, NO!) but she has to focus on her work too (which is having fun with Yogesh in her office). I told her I don't  want to spend more time with her, I want to be treated fairly. That is all. I don't think she got it...

And then Yogesh also came in...so the whole management saw me crying. GREAT.

The interesting thing was how people reacted. 

Members who saw my red eyes asked what was wrong and whether they could do something for me (!!!).

Valmik tried to act as if nothing happened (Hmmmmm...)

R. was extremely nice asking me every 5 minutes if I was any better (FAKE!)

Yogesh also came to me and ask what happened at the end of his shift. I didn't tell him anything and he told me if there was anything he could do to help, I can turn to him (he was the only one who seemed honest.)

Housekeeping, maintenance brought me tissues and altough they don't speak much English they told me: 'Judit, no sad, Judit smile :)'